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Existentialism - Chapter Three

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Mar. 20th, 2006 | 06:28 pm

Title: Existentialism
Chapter: Three
Author: Ash (nickers_lady)
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Billie/Mike
Disclaimer: here
Notes: Thank you for reading! Comments = Love :)

Previous Parts:
x Coming Clean
x x x prologue
x x x chapter one
x x x chapter two

x Electric Stars
x x x prologue
x x x chapter one
x x x chapter two

x One I Want
x x x prologue
x x x chapter one
x x x chapter two

x Also posted to Tattoos & Memories and my lj.

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Billie stood in the bathroom in front of the sink, shoulders hunched, face lowered into a warm, wet washcloth. He was sweaty from his nightmare, and he was sure to have a nosebleed coming per usual. He didn't notice Mike come in behind him.

Mike slid his arms around Billie's waist. Billie panicked, throwing himself against the counter away from Mike, banging his hip on the edge.

"Whoa, easy," Mike said softly. The washcloth had landed on the floor and Billie was left with empty hands shaped like the cloth was still there. His faded green eyes were wide in fear and he was trembling.

"I-I'm sorry, Mike," Billie said softly, a rosy blush creeping across his cheeks.

"S'okay, Billie Joe," Mike replied with the faintest of smiles playing on his lips. "Joey warned me that you've been having nightmares lately but I didn't expect this. Are you alright?"

Billie shrugged and said, "Yeah, just a bunch of shit that I should be over by now." Mike's eyebrows knitted together, concern reflecting in his sky-blue eyes.

"About what?" Mike asked. Somehow, in the back of his mind, he knew, but he wanted to give Billie the chance to say something.

"I keep...seeing her," Billie whispered, breathing heavily, looking at something invisible in his hands, which were still raised. "I keep seeing her, all bloody, bruised...how I couldn't hardly recognize her." Billie's voice shook with bitterness. "I kept thinking that if I ever found out who did it, I would kill them, just mutilate them like they did to Adie."

"And it's been how long?" Mike asked with surprise.

"I know, I know. Like, three years now. It still hurts, though, you know?" Billie replied, frustration eminent in his voice.

"Yeah..." Mike's voice trailed off.

"And, I can still feel his hands on me, Mike," Billie continued, his voice weakened by his breathlessness. Billie's hands clutched into fists as if he were choking the air.

"Brad?" Mike asked, surprised.

"Yeah...I haven't felt that since Adie and I were married. She did so much to get me past that...all that teenage angst was gone...and now she's gone, too..." A lone tear slid down Billie's cheek.

Mike sighed. He had no idea how to respond to something like that. Instead of a spoken reply since he was lost for words (that was Billie's area, anyhow), he leaned forward, arms circling around Billie's shoulders, and pulled him into his arms, holding him gently against his body. Billie wrapped his arms around Mike's waist and rested his head on Mike's shoulder. Mike felt Billie breathe in deeply, exhaling in a long, soft sigh. Mike, almost out of reflex in comforting his own daughter, kissed Billie's neck right where it met his shoulder. Mike suddenly became nervous as he realized that he had really kissed Billie's neck, but Billie acted as if he hadn't even noticed. They continued standing in the bathroom, Billie wrapped in Mike's arms, until a small knock rapped on the door. Startled, they jumped back from each other to see Joey standing in the doorway.

"Are you okay, Daddy?" he asked quietly.

Billie rubbed the back of his neck and glanced quickly at Mike before answering his son, "Yeah, I am. Go back to bed, okay?"

Joey frowned, not totally satisfied with the answer, but didn't ask questions and returned to his bedroom across the hall and just to the left.

Billie's nervous gaze returned to Mike. They made eye contact briefly.

"Thanks," Billie said softly.

"Um, you're welcome," Mike replied with a sigh.

"So..." Billie said, his voice trailing away.

"So..." Mike mirrored Billie.

The two men continued to stand in the bathroom, glancing around anywhere but at each other.

"I'm gonna go back to bed now," Mike said. Billie just nodded. "Are you going to be okay?" Billie nodded again. "Are you sure?" Yet again, all he got was a nod. Mike sighed, not pressing it. He turned to leave, when Billie finally spoke.


"Yeah?" Mike, who was now standing in the doorway, turned back around to face Billie.

"Thanks," he said again. Mike just smiled and returned to his makeshift bed on the living room couch.

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date: Jun. 21st, 2007 11:44 pm (UTC)


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